INTRODUCTION 

I have been a therapist now for eight years. Throughout that time I have learned a lot. These are the top five lessons I have learned.

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Lessons Learned

Lesson 1: I can’t help everyone

Just like with most new therapists, this is a lesson I had to learn quickly. Me being a natural helper, it is sometimes hard for me to come to terms with not being able to help everyone that comes into my office.

Rather because they need help with something I am not knowledgeable about, or because the child/family does not like me. Whatever the reason, I cannot always help everyone.

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Lesson 2: Not everyone is ready to be helped

Going along with I can’t help everyone, I also learned that not everyone is ready to be helped. Most of the children that come into my office are only there because their adult(s) brought them. 

When I ask why they are here, I get a shoulder shrug a majority of the time. This means that not every child I see will be ready to talk with me and put in the work to see change. 

That doesn’t mean I won’t try to work with them, it just means that progress will be slower than working with a child who is wanting to be in therapy.

Lesson 3: Not everyone will be pleased with me

During my years, there have been a few parents/caregivers who have disagreed with a statement I have made or decision on care. 

I have had caregivers upset that after a few sessions with me, their child is not better or confused as to why I am not agreeing with them on a concern they have. Caregivers have laughed in my face when I make a suggestion.

This was the hardest lesson for me to learn. I hate conflict and try my best to avoid that. Experience has taught me that in this job, conflict will happen. That is the nature of trying to facilitate change.

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Lesson 4: The system is not designed to help

This lesson is the most disheartening to learn. The American healthcare system is a mess and mental healthcare is no different. 

Seeing the families I work with struggling because they can’t get access to resources or services they need is frustrating.

Seeing the government make laws and policies that single out my most vulnerable patients is frustrating.

Lesson 5-The child is not the only one needing help

This lesson was taught to me in school. We learn about the “identified patient” and to incorporate their systems (environmental, familial, etc.) into care. 

This lesson became apparent a couple of years into my work as a therapist. When I meet with families the first time, most of their concerns are centered around whatever child they are seeking services for. However, it can become clear that not only does the child need therapy but the adult or other family members need it as well.

Sometimes, families agree that it would be beneficial for others to seek their own therapy. But I do occasionally get the resistant adult who insists that the issue resides solely with the child. 

In those cases, I work with the child on how to survive their childhood and set boundaries with the adults who are not ready to do their own work. 

CONCLUSION

There you have it. The top five lessons I have learned as a therapist. There are certainly more I have learned and more I will continue to learn in the future. 

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